HAPPY FLIPPING BIRTHDAY TO MY BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD NATALIE LYNN KIRKPATRICK!
This is the first time in our 9 years that we have not been with each other for her birthday. I know it is my fault. I abandoned everyone without even a true “goodbye.” I truly never intended on staying here. Seriously. I literally decided last minute (the week before I was supposed to leave) that I would stay for a little while. Then, I up and decided to live here. I know this is not normal. This is not what people generally do. However, I was never really known for my decisiveness. I guess it is better to start making decisions later rather than never.
I was speaking to a friend explaining how much I miss everyone from back “home,” and how I am missing my best friend’s birthday today. It was hard to talk about it since I realized that I really do miss my relationships from the US. I miss the people that I considered my family, you know who you are. I know I decided upon myself to separate from everyone, but it was never my intention to leave the people and the relationships that I care so much about. However, my wise young friend explained to me that it is obvious that I will miss everyone, yet the people that I have left behind probably feel even worse. He was not indicating that I was someone extremely important that I really have that much of an effect on those around me. What he was indicating was that for the people I have left, everything they are surrounded by is exactly the same but without me. I am seeing something new every day. Every day I meet someone new, I walk by a new place, I learn a new story, and I still have not left the province of Mendoza! The people back home live in the same houses that I resided in at one point, go to the same coffee shops that I did with them at some point, swim at the same pools, run on the same streets, go to the same shops, restaurants, and monuments that I had once (or twice) gone with them. The people that I have left back home are consistently reminded of me. I am selfish to think that I miss everyone, because no matter how much I miss the people I love the most, I will not feel an ounce of the detachment that they must feel on a day to day basis. It is not fair, and I am so sorry about that. I am sure it is not as extreme or as exaggerated as this may sound. Although, I know for some people, this may be the case. I am extremely sorry. You know who you are and you know that I still love you to death…we are just separated for a little while.
Anyway, Natalie, I am thinking about you all day. I wish we could sit together, talk for hours while consuming some form of food and/or beverage, and wear sombreros, since it is “Cinco de Mayo” as well. I love you babe. And, I am sorry I made you a shirt one year that said “4-foot Irish-woman.” That’s mean. I should have said “4-foot and 9.3-inches Irish-West Windsor-young lady,” sounds better. <3
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